MY SECRET IS OUT
Now that the kids know (ha ha ha) I guess I'm free to share this with everyone. I'm not proud of this. Truthfully, I don't know how I feel about it.
Last week... I got kicked off a bus.
I work downtown. Due to a sad combination of bad luck, bad timing and an impatient decision on my part, I found myself at the mercy of the city's public transit system. Now, I have taken the bus to and from work before but that's at 8am and 5pm. There's an Express Bus that runs directly from my sidewalk to the front door of the building I work in. Bus Schedule: Monday - Friday 6:00am until 8:00am and 4:00pm until 6:00pm.
My problem began because I rode in that morning with co-workers and didn't realize I'd be so efficient (at hiding what I didn't actually finish) that I'd be out of the office by 1:30pm. Realizing my bus would be another 2.5 hours and having no idea about any other bus routes, I decided to walk 2 blocks and take the train.
I really wanted to call one of the kids and have them pick me up but they were in school. I have to be careful about calling their cells during school hours. The teachers will answer the call and they seldom sound happy about the intrussion, as they call it. (Once again, I apologize to Mrs. Anderson and her entire Grade 12 for ruding interupting them in the middle of a cow eye disec
I took the train to the Coliseum. It's a large transist center and I assumed I'd be able to catch one bus headed to my area. I stood in the terminal trying to decipher the hieroglyphic maps of bus roates and schedules and extentions... oh but some are only during peak hours. Nothing looked familar except a mall. Being dragged from store to store during back to school sales by teens is finally paying off! I know one of the buses that runs down our street also goes to the mall. All I had to do was find the bus that went to the mall, then transfer and I'll be home. I looked at my watch... 2:30pm.
WHY WOULD ANYONE BOYCOTT GILLETTE?
I hate shaving my legs. I really do. I've tried dozens of ways to remove leg hair over the years... razors, electric razors, creams, home kits of cold and hot waxes, plucking and the list goes on. I hate the whole process of it. I'm too cheap... okay, and frightened to have them professionally waxed. Electrolysis... yeah, see above reasons on waxing and double the expense and terror level.
One Sunday night I was actually forced into doing laundry. Wear a skirt to work Monday morning that was already clean, pressed and in my closet... or run a load of pants through the laundry, then iron them BUT I wouldn't have to shave my legs... I did the laundry.
Well... I found a scapegoat... errr website *grin* that has given me an idea.
The only problem is that I'm not sure I can pull this excuse off... not with a straight face anyway!
FOUR JOKERS CAN MAKE A FULL HOUSE
... IF YOU PLAY YOUR CARDS RIGHT!
I win, I win!
Funny, but after finally convincing the children I will not embarrass them beyond belief if I write about our lives on this blog, I do feel as though I've won a small battle. It wasn't an easy battle to win either, each wanted to know why I couldn't just start taking valium and watching soap opera's if I was that bored with my life.
A few ground rules were set such as nicknames only (no real names insuring the protection of the innocent... me! They'd get even quickly if I even considered otherwise)
I look back at our lives together and I smile. I must have been so naive to believe I could take four children into my home and make a functioning family unit out of our lives... but here we are *smile*
We're happy, content and we're a family.
~Jewel turned 18 in January. She is an incredible beauty and social butterfly with a quick wit, easy smile and carries the most compassionate heart of someone her age that I have ever met. Her sense of humor extends to her own foibles and she keeps everyone in stitches with her stories.
~Bear... our sweet gentle Bear. He will be 18 in March and has become the other childrens strong shoulder and trusted confidant. When I think of what his younger life was like, some of the things he endured as a small child, I feel a slow anger burning in the pit of my stomach. He himself has been my greatest sourse of comfort about this though. Bear is the first to point out that without his past, he may not be the person he is now. He sees everything as a life lesson to grow from. He carries a wisdom far beyond his years.
~Sage will also turn 18 in November of this year. He's only been with our insanity for two years but he settled in quicker then any of the others... including myself. He was immediately embraced and accepted by all because of his character. Although generally the quiet one, no one wants to miss a word when he finally does speak as you can count on him to make perfect sense of any situation with only a few softly spoken words.
Then there's ~Kiki... our baby girl. At 14 she is adored by the others and if she has any complaints it's only that she feels sheltered by their over protection of her. It's easy to forget how young she really is at times because it is her life's goal to be just like the older children. It's not unusual to find her reading their Physics text books or memorizing the Periodic Table so she can join in on their discussions.
What they do have in common though is what truly cements our group into a functioning family. We love each other with a trust and respect that in this case, could only be earned through daily endurance. Maybe because these are children that had never had the luxury of what most people take for granted on a daily basis. At one time in their lives, each of them have felt completely abandoned and alone in this world.
I love these kids, unconditionally. But more importantly and with the support of each other, I'm watching them learn to love themselves unconditionally... to love the world without fear of rejection. To realize that no matter what happens out there, they can always come home and know they have a family that will love them... and somehow, thats enough for now.
A FAMILY JOKE
Have you ever heard a joke that left you wondering whos been peeking in your windows at night and taking notes on your family?
Here's our most recent... this IS my youngest daughter!
A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.
As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.
The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."
The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."
Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."
MY FUNNY VALENTINE
Yesterday, my youngest child thoughfully made me a cake for Valentines Day. I had heard her in the kitchen throughout the afternoon and knew she was hard at work on something just for me. Imagine my pride!
After dinner she and the other kids cleared the table and then disappeared back into the kitchen where I heard them all begin howling with laughter. This in itself is nothing unusual... someone is always laughing around here, usually at me.
The diningroom lights were dimmed and she entered carrying her cake in all its glory. She'd used a heart shaped cake pan, frosted it with red icing and had written her own special message on it to me in white icing. Unfortunately she began her writting in very large letters and the first line alone took up more then half of the cake. Realizing her mistake, she'd quickly made adjustments in order to fit the rest of the message on it.
My beautiful and thoughtful gift read...
Now I ask you... who could ask for anything more? *smile*
Apparently me... when I awoke this morning, I found an envelope on my night stand. Inside was a Get Well Soon card from the two oldest along with an obvious fake handwritten prescription for Penicillin.
Like I said... someones always laughing around here and it's usually at me.
DID I ACTUALLY SAY CHANGE CAN BE GOOD?
*SIGH* YEAH... I GUESS I DID.
I miss Jazz. Although we talk almost daily, the Blog is not the same without him.
Then, just before Christmas we had a death in the family. Nana was 89 and according to her own words she was damn well ready to go 'home' but I don't think we were as prepared for her departure. The funeral was held December 21st and I returned home on the 24th, just in time to enjoy Christmas with the children. Somehow... It turned out to be one of my favorite holiday's yet. I don't even remember what presents I received. What I do remember is the love and memories we shared on that day. How kind and loving the kids were to myself and each other because of our shared loss.
Thanks Nana *smile*
Even from beyond you managed to inspire peace and love in our family. We each carry a special part of you in our hearts that shines brightest when things are lowest... and I know that comes from you.
The New Year has brought it's own joys and challenges. I can't believe it's already February, I can't believe the oldest child is now 18 and making plans for University. I can't believe I have somehow convinced myself I can pay for tuition! ha! I'll figure it out somehow... (anyone want to volunteer to drive the get-away car for me if I get desperate? hehe!)
Yes... it's going to be an interesting year.
I still haven't decided what to do with this Blog *shrug*
I guess, as with all things... time will tell.
THEY SAY CHANGE CAN BE GOOD
LETS HOPE IT APPLIES HERE... GiGGle JUICE IS CHANGING!
Jazz is leaving *sob*
Due to circumstances beyond his control and obviously mine too, Jazz will no longer be able to help with the blog.
I won't go into the specifics but his departure is unavoidable and I wish him only the best in any and all future endeavors. I love you buddy and we'll keep in touch as often as possible... besides, your still coming to visit during Christmas, right? *grin*
NOW... what to do with this blog?
I thought about shutting it down but anyone who has ever put their time and effort into a blog knows that the delete button is just not an option.
I thought about continuing the concept with another friend... but that doesn't sit well either. This was OUR idea and memory keepsake.
I had another idea but when I told my kids at breakfast this morning that I was considering keeping the blog running as my own personal outlet, I was stopped in mid sentence by looks of horror and emotional outbursts. Their voices full of dread and terror asked "Your not going to make it personal, are you? Your not going to write about US!"
I have to admit... because of their reactions I'm actually considering this one carefully.
I could use this forum to decompress from their daily antic's and post all their dirty laundry for the world to see... *grin*
My eldest, after hearing of my latest option, even had the nerve to ask me if I'd smoked myself stupid in my younger years... hehe I guess we'll see, won't we?